This video is a brief example of conflict coaching in action.
Conflict coaching is pretty much what it sounds like. According to Cinnie Noble (2012) in her book, Conflict management coaching: The CINERGY model, it is " a one-to-one process in which the trained coach helps individuals gain increased competence and confidence to manage and engage in their interpersonal conflicts and disputes" (p. 12; emphasis added). In other words, a conflict coach like me works with you to deal with conflict in your professional or personal life.
I usually begin with an assessment (either personality inventory or a conflict style test) so that we can both have a better sense of how you deal with conflict. If the other person is in the workplace, I also find that the coaching is much more effective if that person or persons has been assessed as well. Once we have a baseline of sorts, I begin the process of coaching by asking you a series of questions that assists me, and eventually, you, to zero in on areas to develop.
In essence, the questions are effective for five broad reasons. First, everything I need to know to assist you lies in the recesses of your knowledge vault so the more that I can learn from you as the coachee, the more I can tailor make strategies for you. Second, honouring the fact that you need to buy in, I ask about what your goals and objectives for the coaching sessions will be so that you own the process. Third, by clarifying, I empower you since you probably have a pretty good idea as to what you want and my job is to give you some skills to get to that goal. Fourth, my asking you for more information sets you up to take leadership as I get you started and will certainly be available for consultation but you will need to take on the work once we are finished. Last, I want to have a strong bond of trust between us as coach and coachee so it is important that authenticity drives this relationship (Stoltzfus, 2008).
If you would like to discuss conflict coaching, contact me for a preliminary meeting.